The Queen of Air and Darkness
by Yuki-chan1
Summary: Stupidity, not much more than a random excuse to think about yaoi, really.


Warnings: Oh my god, this is the best example of my stupidity, right here folks. I honestly have no idea what kind of crack I was on when I wrote this, but it was a continuation of my friend's pointless fanfic called "I love the Mews". I wasn't intending to post it on ff.net, but since I'm posting my other one, I might as well. By all means, this by far isn't the best thing I've written, but it made a lot of sense at the time when I was writing it. I had nothing else to do and it took me literally no time to write. Yay for PWP.  
  
Yes, there are a lot of pointless inside jokes that I'm not going to bother explaining, and the owls...well...they're pretty much pointless too.  
  
The Queen of Air and DarkneÃŸ  
  
One Friday evening, Ken, Omi, Yohji, and Aya were sitting around their house-like thing being bored. Omi was reading "The Once and Future King." Yohji was asleep on the kitchen table, curled up in a ball and listening to Cha-la Head Cha-la with his portable CD player(it was on repeat). Ken was watching Designing Women on the TV, and Aya was colouring in his brand new wizard colouring book. Predictably, the phone rang! It was Nagi, so Omi answered it.  
  
"Whatz up my brudda?!" he asked, in a scary homie G voice.  
  
"Omi! I just got sex from Crawford! We love The evening Mews!" Nagi exclaimed. He then hung up.  
  
"Oh. Well...damn," Omi said. He decided that thinking of the Mews made him hungry, so he went to make a sandwich.  
  
"Okay, I'll be RIGHT back. I need a sandwich..." As soon as he left the room, Aya started crying.  
  
"It's okay! It's okay, Aya-kun! Do you want a Yoo-Hoo?" Omi asked. Aya pouted. Ken looked over at the redhead, who was about to burst into tears.  
  
"Aya, do you wanna watch tv with Ken-cat? C'mon, you can sit in my lap!" he invited.  
  
Aya did so with glee, and Ken called out to Omi, who was in the kitchen, " Hey, Omi, why don't you bring him some snacks?"  
  
"Okay," he agreed.  
  
He pulled Yohji's shoe off and gnawed on it. Yohji didn't wake up, although he made a noise that resembled a snort and flopped like a fish. Omi got out a giant, tacky/ornate silver and gold platter and put several baby owls, Yohji's socks, and some noodles on it. He brought it out into the living room, where Ken and Aya were having sex on the sofa.  
  
"Hey!!" Omi shouted.  
  
They stopped having sex. Omi's eyes turned bright red and he shot lasers at the wall, putting a large hole in it.  
  
"I am SO sick of this family never having a decent dinner anymore! I cook for hours, then I get out here and see you two horsing around like you've not a care in the world! And lord only knows where that good for nothing Yohji is!" Omi said in a kowai tone.  
  
"He's sleeping in the kitchen," Ken said.  
  
"Let's just all sit down and have a nice family dinner," Omi demanded. He set the platter down on the floor and lifted the lid. The barn owls, snowy owls, and socks began to sing.  
  
"Ah! Kirei!!! Those are the most delicious ones!" Aya exclaimed joyously, grabbing a snow owl baby and gobbling it down.  
  
"See, isn't this nice? So Ken-kun, you certainly look healthy today, have you been exercising lately?" Omi asked Ken, who was still randomly naked.  
  
"Yes, actually--"  
  
Ken was cut off by Yohji, who meandered into the room, drawn by the scent of the woodland hooters. He bumped into several stuffs with a crash, but still didn't wake up. He finally made it to where they were eating, devoured all the owls, then left.  
  
Ken, Aya, and Omi sniffled because the questing beast had scarfed down their supper. There was a ring on the doorbell and Aya went to answer it. For some irrational reason, it was Esh's dad.  
  
"Hello, I'm here to pick up the boys," he explained.  
  
"Oh yes, I'll send them out. They were simply delightful, Mr. Robinson!" Aya gushed. He walked over to the stairs and shouted, "Michael! Zachary! Your otousan is here!"  
  
Aya then dragged Ken into the bathroom and they had sex in the shower. Omi went to go play poker with Sailor Mercury, Kunzite, The Earl, and Tamahome at the local Elk's club. Yohji, who then woke up, turned into the biggest and frilliest glare owl anyone'd ever seen. He flapped away on gossamer wings into the fading sunlightand after a quick snack of fake brad and white-footed mouse, he built a nest outside the Hovel and hooted perpetually forever and ever, amen. 4:27  
  
~Owari~  
  
Yuki: I own everything. I bought it with uh...all that money I have... you probably wouldn't know about it.  
  
Aya: What was that stupidity?! You call that a fanfic?!?!  
  
Yuki: Che. NO, I call that umm....what I do when I can't use the computer, can't find any anime to watch, and can't fall asleep! Duh! 


End file.
